Our 16 year old daughter, Sandy has decided that she wants to go live with her biological mother in Phoenix. We have decided to let her go. We spent almost a year fighting to get her out here.

She lived here for two years, and after the initial honeymoon adjustment, proceeded to make us crazy. She lied, she stole from us, she would not do her school work. She refused to show us any respect, and she refused to follow the house rules. In some respect I guess that this is standard behavior for a 16 year old, but Sue and I finally got to the point where we had to give in, and give her what she wanted. The whole time she was here she told us how much she missed her mommy. Now I understand that, but at the same time she didn’t have to go out of her way to get negative attention.

At any rate she leaves next Saturday. She wasted no time in telling everyone at school that she was going. She talked on the phone to her mentor from Phoenix, and was laughing, and giggling away. She has no clue that it is killing us to do this. To us this means defeat, and our feelings are very hurt. To her all she sees is that she got what she wanted. She just cannot understand why our feelings are hurt.

Someday she may understand. We have this suspicion that she will get back out there, and find out that things are not all that she was hoping for. We have told her that she will not be allowed to call us up in a couple of months and tell us she made a mistake and wants to come back.

On the plus side, and I have to try to keep this in mind, the stress levels that we have been living with for the last 2 years will dissipate. Sue and I will no longer have to walk around on eggshells waiting for the next explosion. We will be kidless for the first time in a while. In some respects we will miss her, in others it will almost be a relief.

I know that probably makes me seem like a bad father. All I can say is, come walk a mile in my shoes.

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